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Leadership

Change & Overwhelm – 5 Suggestions

The stock market crashing, losing a job or a good friend – can all be a significant events in our lives, significant change and they can all trigger a sense of overload or overwhelm.

Change is one constant we can all depend upon. We may not always know the time variable of change, but we can be certain of it. A potential outcome of change is a sense of overwhelm.

Overwhelm as I am using it here refers to a sense of emotional overload. We are experiencing so much change or information (e.g., grief, sadness, fear) that we feel overloaded or overwhelmed.

Experiencing a sense of overwhelm does not need to be a lasting feeling or much less than a fleeting feeling. There are things we can consciously choose that help us move through overwhelm. Here are five (5) suggestions for shifting out of overwhelm.

  1. Focus on the facts versus a story (making up one or buying into that of another).
  2. Stay in the moment, where we work best (versus getting worried about what might happen).
  3. Identify steps you can take (if any) to better the situation.
  4. Create a plan if there are several steps you can take
  5. Focus on the 2-3 highest priority action steps you can take and tackle those first.

Ted Mersino works with individuals and groups to develop the skills and abilities to create more of what they want in their life. Contact Ted today for a free consultation ted (at) pivotalgrowth.com or 541-515-4133.

 

 

Good Leaders Not = Control

Some mistake “Control” for “Leadership”.

True leadership is allowing a team or subordinates to be their best without concern of impressing the leader.

Allowing Visualization to Work

Visualizing what we want in our life is a great step toward creating what we want. There is value in visualizing what we want.

The trick with visualization is to visualize and then get on with doing what it is that will bring that visualization into reality. Can visualization alone attract what you want into your life? Possibly. But I see a great deal more evidence of success by individuals adding other key ingredients to their visualization, like passion and action.

I have found that passion and action go a long way toward bringing about the future we want to experience. Visualizing a lot of money in the bank or the love of their life standing next to them, but then never taking the risk to get out there is naive to me.

Visualize and then get out there and passionately pursue your vision and allow your intuition to guide you along they way rather than your fear or want of control.

Ever Expanding Opportunities

Ever have that thought, “they’re getting ahead of me”, “they did what I was thinking about doing”, “they are better at it than me”, “I’ll never be as good as them”…the list goes on. You may not say these things, but do you have some parallel thoughts of your own?

So someone is already doing what you thought about doing, great! They are doing it better than you judge you could do it, great! They are way ahead of where you are at – GREAT!

What I experience in my life is continually expanding opportunities. There are so many facets to parenting, to running a business, to growing roses, to making love – the list is endless. Some of those ideas might be an  idea that changes how the world works, others may not or may not in a big bang way.

My point is – don’t spend a lot of time comparing. Do a little homework and then follow your intuition. The world is always expanding into new frontiers, from the pony express (days, weeks, months, years?)  to electron mail that is in (milliseconds, seconds, minutes).

Move forward. Take the risk. Copy if you have to – but get out there and then really listen to your intuition so you can make course corrections if beneficial to you and the world.

What Next People?

So, what exciting things are you intending for 2012? What really sounds good to you versus what you “should” or “have to” do? I know, you may have things you don’t want to stop doing because of the impact on your life style. But what about the incremental steps you can start taking today to move you in the direction of what you really want to do and experience in your life? Dig down and dream, feel the excitement that comes with putting your ass on the line. Dream big and then take it step by step.

Go for it!

Show Up & Get in the Game

Last week my 2 daughters were in a play at school called Nanny Claus. Our older daughter got the lead role and our younger daughter got a total of 9 words to say. Our younger started with 3 and she was proud when she was able to get more. 

In addition to the entertainment, or maybe because of this it was entertaining, I saw something in how both of my daughters participated in the play. They both had presence. Not only were they there on stage, but they showed up. You could see a playful intention and commitment in the participation.

I can see this being the case with our older daughter who had the lead role, but it would have been easy enough for our younger daughter with the 9 words to check out. She could have dismissed her contribution because of the number of words she was able to say. And yet she did not, she was engaged just as much as her older sister – and I could see how that impacted the play. She was on and she had enthusiasm to do her best and it was obvious. She added to the energy, joy and entertainment of the play.

I write about this because we all have a chance to show up. Regardless of our part in the play of life –  we can all add to the energy, joy and entertainment of each others lives.

Stand. Step forward. Show up – fully. Let others see you. Let you see you.

What can you do today or tomorrow to show up? Make it simple and easy. And then do it again.

Thoughts that Achieve Goals

What might this list of thoughts have in common? I don't want to look foolish. I don't want to fail. I don't want to miss the deadline. I don't want to lose money. I don't want to lose my client. I don't want to stay stuck in this job. I don't want to have my kids talk back to me. I don't want my kids to fail. I don't want to hear my neighbors lawn mower. Etcetera.

When a thought is reoccurring we have an investment in it. These thoughts continue to occur because we continue to focus our energy on them. If we had no attachment to them they would cease to come to mind. In reality we are choosing these thoughts by continuing to focus on them. Given we are choosing to invest energy in them one could argue we want these thoughts in our life.

When we focus our energy on what we don't want we are missing opportunities to focus on what we do want. Yes, we want to make room to acknowledge what we don't want. Once we acknowledge what we don't want we have a choice. Do I continue to focus on what I don't want or do I focus my energy on what I do want.

What if there is a correlation between what we get in life and the energy we invest in thoughts of what we want and what we don't want? What could you be focusing your energy right now?

When a "I don't want" thought persist take time to see if there is a feeling below the thought that you could explore. There is a process of exploring and releasing the feelings that anchor these thoughts. I have frequent webinars and teleclasses that cover these issues. Check my up and coming Events page.

Failure or Feedback

We make a plan based on our vision, our high level approach, milestones and time estimates. And then we begin to execute against our plan. Some of us will move ahead taking action and some of us will avoid taking action. Why might some avoid taking action?

When we take action (or don't) we get results. For some, those results can be perceived as failure by using mistakes, missed dates, unwanted outcomes, rejection, lack of support, cost over-runs, etc. as evidence (of our failure).

Perceiving results in this way can be painful, diminish our energy, lower our confidence and even be used as an indicator of our value as an individuals. What is the outcome? We avoid taking some or all of the actions we can to realize our vision.

How might we view the results of our actions and our plans that will allow us to move forward unencumbered by the fear of failure?

By viewing our results as information. Information that does not define success or failure, but information that we can use to determine how we move forward. I can be disappointed or excited, but it is not a reflection on me as an individual. I get information, I decide how I want to move forward.

Moving Through Conflict

Some suggest that conflict is inevitable. I personally cannot agree or deny that idea.

What I have seen in others and experienced personally, is that speaking our truth – wants, needs, likes, dislikes and feelings about ourselves (versus others) goes a long way toward naturally dissolving what might have otherwise appeared as a irresolvable conflict.

Trying to maintain control might look like: You are always working or spending time with your friends. (The focus is on the other person.)

Letting go of control might look like: I like to spend time with you. I want to watch a moving with you this weekend. (The focus is on the speaker.)

If speaking our truth can be so effective in resolving conflict why don't we speak it? Because it means we must let go of our perceived control of the situation or outcome of the situation. Although it may be exactly what really needs to happen we are reluctant to let go of the known and step into the unknown. And yet, there is a powerful aliveness in letting go of the known.

Do you want richer, more satisfying and loving relationships? Let go of what you perceive to be control and safety and step into speaking the truth about you.

Get Started Now

For some people jumping into a new project or task can be very exciting. It is a challenge. Something to figure out. They may give little to no consideration to the height of the diving board – that is part of the exhilaration.

And then there are the individuals on the other end of the spectrum, the individuals that may stop to consider in more depth the project or task at hand. They may or may not see it as a challenge. It may be something they want to do, but that does not necessarily make jumping in any less uncomfortable. Moving into the situation slowly might give them a sense of security.

Neither of these approaches are good or bad, they are just different. I personally have a natural tendency toward the latter, checking things out on a mental and emotional level. Over time, as I have continued to take on new projects which are outside of my comfort zone and for the sake of necessity, I have developed the muscle of moving more quickly into the project or task.

The big learn – the sooner you jump in the sooner you will see what works and does not work. There is calculated risk to consider. It is prudent to consider the markets, history and trends of a stock but getting paralyzed in the process is a waste of time and energy.

Are you someone that moves slowly into that next thing? Try jumping in on the next few projects or task and let your energy flow.