A goal can start out as a wish. It’s something we want in our life. Something we want to add, change or removed. They can both also start out with a lot of energy and excitement.
And that may be where the commonalities end. Where a wish may never produce results in and of itself a goal has the potential to create the desired outcome.
Moving from a wish to reality:
- Get clear on what you want and why you want it.
- Determine when you want to achieve your goal and put a completion date on it.
- Now quantify your goal. For example, I will complete 15 pages a week of my book for the next 10 weeks.
- Share your plan with people you trust allowing them to support you and celebrate you as you make progress.
- Ask for help from individuals that have experience if/when you encounter a obstacle or challenge.
Be cognoscente that goals may require us to stretch and may create resistance within ourselves, that is OK. Going after goals is a great opportunity to learn and grow, both from stretching and from examining our resistance.
Ted Mersino works with individuals and groups to develop the skills and abilities to create more of what they want in their life. Contact Ted today for a free consultation ted (at) pivotalgrowth.com or 541-515-4133.
I have always prided myself on having persistence, tenacity. I see both of those qualities as valuable to me creating what I want in my life. When I have come to find though, with both of these qualities, is that they can have a great deal more impact when they have a very clear boundary and focus.
For example, a man is planting new grass in his lawn. He buys the right amount of seed for the job and sets out throwing the seed around his lawn. Over the weeks to follow he notices that his lawn is not nearly as thick as the manufacturer of the seed he purchased proclaimed. So he purchases more seed and repeats the seeding process by throwing the seed around his lawn. Again, the results are negligible compared to the manufacturers claims on the bag. In his persistence he repeats the process all over again.
After his third application of the grass seed his neighbor stops over and she thanks him making her lawn so much thicker and richer. The man did not understand as his only intent along with his persistence was to improve his own lawn. Seeing his perplexed look she goes on to share what she observed.
You have great persistence in trying to improve your lawn, but your boundaries (focus) for applying the seed was flawed. I saw you throwing the seed to the wind. Sure enough, some of the seed went on your lawn, but much more landed in your driveway, on my lawn and in the street by way of the NE wind. Throwing the seed into the wind may have some impact on your lawn but not nearly the same impact you would get with a more focused application of the seed that hits your target, in this case your lawn.
Whether you are looking for a job, additional clients, better relationships, etc., narrow down what you really want, why you want it, learn as much as you can about it (even as you are going for it) and then stick to that specific set of prospective clients, companies, relationship and so on.
Yes there may be low hanging fruit out there, but in my experience, the low hanging fruit comes from the relationship you have developed, which can take persistence but also focus (authenticity, integrity, etc.).
The trick with visualization is to visualize and then get on with doing what it is that will bring that visualization into reality. Can visualization alone attract what you want into your life? Possibly. But I see a great deal more evidence of success by individuals adding other key ingredients to their visualization, like passion and action.
I have found that passion and action go a long way toward bringing about the future we want to experience. Visualizing a lot of money in the bank or the love of their life standing next to them, but then never taking the risk to get out there is naive to me.
Visualize and then get out there and passionately pursue your vision and allow your intuition to guide you along they way rather than your fear or want of control.
So, what exciting things are you intending for 2012? What really sounds good to you versus what you “should” or “have to” do? I know, you may have things you don’t want to stop doing because of the impact on your life style. But what about the incremental steps you can start taking today to move you in the direction of what you really want to do and experience in your life? Dig down and dream, feel the excitement that comes with putting your ass on the line. Dream big and then take it step by step.
Go for it!
Last week my 2 daughters were in a play at school called Nanny Claus. Our older daughter got the lead role and our younger daughter got a total of 9 words to say. Our younger started with 3 and she was proud when she was able to get more.
In addition to the entertainment, or maybe because of this it was entertaining, I saw something in how both of my daughters participated in the play. They both had presence. Not only were they there on stage, but they showed up. You could see a playful intention and commitment in the participation.
I can see this being the case with our older daughter who had the lead role, but it would have been easy enough for our younger daughter with the 9 words to check out. She could have dismissed her contribution because of the number of words she was able to say. And yet she did not, she was engaged just as much as her older sister – and I could see how that impacted the play. She was on and she had enthusiasm to do her best and it was obvious. She added to the energy, joy and entertainment of the play.
I write about this because we all have a chance to show up. Regardless of our part in the play of life – we can all add to the energy, joy and entertainment of each others lives.
Stand. Step forward. Show up – fully. Let others see you. Let you see you.
What can you do today or tomorrow to show up? Make it simple and easy. And then do it again.
Regardless of what is happening around us we can choose our thoughts and our attitude.
In my more recent post I have written that what we create for ourselves, for our life, is a choice. Our thoughts related to what we create may be conscious or unconscious – and that is a choice too. Where we put our attention, our awareness, in any given moment – is a choice.
"Mind is the Master power that moulds and makes,
And Man is Mind, and evermore he takes
The tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills,
Brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills: —
He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:
Environment is but his looking-glass."
by James Allen, 1902
As I have posted earlier and as James Allen said so long ago, our mind is the power that molds and makes our reality. Our happiness follows that same principle. Through our thoughts we have the ability to create our own happiness. Regardless of what is happening around us we can choose our thoughts and our attitude. We can choose to be happy.
The question is, are you willing to be happy? Are you willing to choose your thoughts and attitude – to commit to being happy in your life?
When we continue to hold onto the thought "I don't want", we are investing energy in what we don't want. In affect, we are increasing the likelihood that we will create what we don't want (by focusing our energy there versus focusing our energy on what we do want).
We have a choice to either focus on what we do want or what we don't want, knowing that our focus will move us in the direction of our thinking. If you continue to focus on what you don't want you are choosing to want what you say you don't want.
Below is an exercise to help you become more aware of what you are creating that you say you don't want.
1) Start by listing ten (10) things that you think you don't want (i.e., don't want to do, don't want to experience or don't want to happen). For example, I don't want to miss the date for getting my newsletter article written.
2) Now rewrite your don't wants statements replacing "don't want" with "want". For example, I want to miss the date for getting my newsletter article written. In this way you are taking ownership for the existence of these "don't wants" which are creating more of what you don't want in your life.
3) As you rewrite each statement bring your awareness to what you are feeling in your body. Typically when I fully take ownership of these don't wants in this way I feel them in my chest, a heaviness or sense of self criticalness. After I fully own what I am creating and feel the impact of the associated feelings the need to hold onto my "don't want" thinking and feelings subside.
As I go through these steps, taking ownership for keeping these don't wants in my life, I have found I am much less likely to notice myself thinking in terms of what I don't want. And when I do I can stop and take ownership of how I am creating what I don't want. At that point I can shift to focusing on what I do want – creating more of what I want in my life!
What might this list of thoughts have in common? I don't want to look foolish. I don't want to fail. I don't want to miss the deadline. I don't want to lose money. I don't want to lose my client. I don't want to stay stuck in this job. I don't want to have my kids talk back to me. I don't want my kids to fail. I don't want to hear my neighbors lawn mower. Etcetera.
When a thought is reoccurring we have an investment in it. These thoughts continue to occur because we continue to focus our energy on them. If we had no attachment to them they would cease to come to mind. In reality we are choosing these thoughts by continuing to focus on them. Given we are choosing to invest energy in them one could argue we want these thoughts in our life.
When we focus our energy on what we don't want we are missing opportunities to focus on what we do want. Yes, we want to make room to acknowledge what we don't want. Once we acknowledge what we don't want we have a choice. Do I continue to focus on what I don't want or do I focus my energy on what I do want.
What if there is a correlation between what we get in life and the energy we invest in thoughts of what we want and what we don't want? What could you be focusing your energy right now?
When a "I don't want" thought persist take time to see if there is a feeling below the thought that you could explore. There is a process of exploring and releasing the feelings that anchor these thoughts. I have frequent webinars and teleclasses that cover these issues. Check my up and coming Events page.
We make a plan based on our vision, our high level approach, milestones and time estimates. And then we begin to execute against our plan. Some of us will move ahead taking action and some of us will avoid taking action. Why might some avoid taking action?
When we take action (or don't) we get results. For some, those results can be perceived as failure by using mistakes, missed dates, unwanted outcomes, rejection, lack of support, cost over-runs, etc. as evidence (of our failure).
Perceiving results in this way can be painful, diminish our energy, lower our confidence and even be used as an indicator of our value as an individuals. What is the outcome? We avoid taking some or all of the actions we can to realize our vision.
How might we view the results of our actions and our plans that will allow us to move forward unencumbered by the fear of failure?
By viewing our results as information. Information that does not define success or failure, but information that we can use to determine how we move forward. I can be disappointed or excited, but it is not a reflection on me as an individual. I get information, I decide how I want to move forward.
For some people jumping into a new project or task can be very exciting. It is a challenge. Something to figure out. They may give little to no consideration to the height of the diving board – that is part of the exhilaration.
And then there are the individuals on the other end of the spectrum, the individuals that may stop to consider in more depth the project or task at hand. They may or may not see it as a challenge. It may be something they want to do, but that does not necessarily make jumping in any less uncomfortable. Moving into the situation slowly might give them a sense of security.
Neither of these approaches are good or bad, they are just different. I personally have a natural tendency toward the latter, checking things out on a mental and emotional level. Over time, as I have continued to take on new projects which are outside of my comfort zone and for the sake of necessity, I have developed the muscle of moving more quickly into the project or task.
The big learn – the sooner you jump in the sooner you will see what works and does not work. There is calculated risk to consider. It is prudent to consider the markets, history and trends of a stock but getting paralyzed in the process is a waste of time and energy.
Are you someone that moves slowly into that next thing? Try jumping in on the next few projects or task and let your energy flow.