Ever have that thought, “they’re getting ahead of me”, “they did what I was thinking about doing”, “they are better at it than me”, “I’ll never be as good as them”…the list goes on. You may not say these things, but do you have some parallel thoughts of your own?
So someone is already doing what you thought about doing, great! They are doing it better than you judge you could do it, great! They are way ahead of where you are at – GREAT!
What I experience in my life is continually expanding opportunities. There are so many facets to parenting, to running a business, to growing roses, to making love – the list is endless. Some of those ideas might be an idea that changes how the world works, others may not or may not in a big bang way.
My point is – don’t spend a lot of time comparing. Do a little homework and then follow your intuition. The world is always expanding into new frontiers, from the pony express (days, weeks, months, years?) to electron mail that is in (milliseconds, seconds, minutes).
Move forward. Take the risk. Copy if you have to – but get out there and then really listen to your intuition so you can make course corrections if beneficial to you and the world.
This is a simple post, in length, in concept and presentation. This picture was taken in Colorado on January 2, 2012. Since November we have had 2-3 snow falls and consistent temperatures down into the teens overnight.
Something I have noticed over the years, many Oak trees keep their leaves (dead/dried) through the winter, most Pine trees have needles year round and Aspen trees lose their leaves in the fall.
Why do some trees keep their foliage while others lose theirs? I don’t know. What I do know, a Pine grows to be a pine, an Oak an Oak, and an Aspen grow to be an Aspen. And I would guess that each of these trees is best equipped to support whichever foliage they grow.
Now if we went and started plugging pine needles into an Aspen I am guessing with enough attempts to “change” the Aspen it would wither and die. Chances are, the Aspen is likely to grow into a magnificent tree all on it’s own, if left to grow as it was meant to be.
But isn’t that what many of us try to do, change ourselves (or even change others). We go around trying to plug pine needles into ourselves, trying to imitate others, when the foliage that we have brings out the best in us.
Where are you putting your energy? Or are you? Is it flowing, impacting the world around you or blocked up and withdrawn. Which is more likely to create a life of joy and satisfaction?
What if you could choose when to stop and when to expand out? Of course the answer is you can – but do you?
Is there someone you want to call but continue to put off calling? An activity that is about expanding versus withdrawing, going unconscious?
Stop – Make the call. Spend 15 minutes really talking and connecting to your son, daughter, mother, father or friend. Stop and connect with you – feel your own heart. Connect with you and then connect with someone else.
Happy New Year to you.
So, what exciting things are you intending for 2012? What really sounds good to you versus what you “should” or “have to” do? I know, you may have things you don’t want to stop doing because of the impact on your life style. But what about the incremental steps you can start taking today to move you in the direction of what you really want to do and experience in your life? Dig down and dream, feel the excitement that comes with putting your ass on the line. Dream big and then take it step by step.
Go for it!
Have you ever found yourself thinking, “I feel good things coming my way”, and then wallah, good things start popping up? I had to laugh this morning as I found myself thinking about the “good” things that have been happening in my life. What made me laugh was that recently I have been expecting good things to happen – and low and behold, good things begin to pop up in my life.
What if they were always there but we are continually looking at what could be different, the gap between what is and what we wish or want it to be? What if we just appreciated what is and loved the unfolding process?
I put “good” in quotes because maybe it is all “good”!
It’s a festive time of year. Lots of energy and excitement. Gatherings. Celebrations. Travel. For many this time of year is packed full of activities, events and parties. For others it can be a quieter time, more alone or even feeling secluded.
My point to this post – I find being in relationship and spending time with people I want to be around can be very enjoyable and nourishing. Can you imagine relationships as being nourishing?
If you can, set an intention and make a commitment to connecting with others over the holidays.
If you can’t, why not take a chance and give it a try this month. Set an intention to spend time making a phone call, getting together for coffee, for dinner or for a hockey game.
The point is, go for connection this holiday with individuals you want to connect with. You will be giving to yourself and others at the same time.
Last week my 2 daughters were in a play at school called Nanny Claus. Our older daughter got the lead role and our younger daughter got a total of 9 words to say. Our younger started with 3 and she was proud when she was able to get more.
In addition to the entertainment, or maybe because of this it was entertaining, I saw something in how both of my daughters participated in the play. They both had presence. Not only were they there on stage, but they showed up. You could see a playful intention and commitment in the participation.
I can see this being the case with our older daughter who had the lead role, but it would have been easy enough for our younger daughter with the 9 words to check out. She could have dismissed her contribution because of the number of words she was able to say. And yet she did not, she was engaged just as much as her older sister – and I could see how that impacted the play. She was on and she had enthusiasm to do her best and it was obvious. She added to the energy, joy and entertainment of the play.
I write about this because we all have a chance to show up. Regardless of our part in the play of life – we can all add to the energy, joy and entertainment of each others lives.
Stand. Step forward. Show up – fully. Let others see you. Let you see you.
What can you do today or tomorrow to show up? Make it simple and easy. And then do it again.
Five Tips for Maintaining Your Sanity
Last year I introduced our then 8 and 10 year old daughters to Christmas Vacation. It was fun to see the look on their faces during all of those crazy antics. I still love that movie. So much drama which no one in the movie seems to escape unscathed.
One of my favorite parts is when the brother-in-law is standing out in front of the Griswold’s house in his robe, a beer in his hand, draining his sewage into the rain runoff drain with a huge smile on his face – the look of bliss! The look on the neighbor’s face was priceless!
Ok, most of us won’t experience this level of chaos during the holidays. And yet, with all the energy that can surround this time of year many of us will find ourselves considering some type of escape from reality (like grabbing a beer). So I want to share some tips I included in an article I wrote for the Boulder Center for Conscious Community (BC3) newsletter.
Speculating I am not alone in my experience of big feelings during the holidays…I have five tips to share with you in support of your self care during the holidays. Reminders to…
- Take time to envision with intention the experiences you want to create over the holiday season.
- Take time for self care; time out for yourself in the midst of busy schedules and celebration.
- Allow yourself to have and accept whatever feelings you are experiencing, to acknowledge them with tenderness and care.
- Create a space, a pause in the midst of high emotions (when we are triggered?) to feel and be present with your feelings before you respond or react.
- Hold all of your feelings as an experience, not good or bad, but feelings that are like passing clouds, letting them pass along with any stories that may be triggered.
Here is wishing you the best this season, whoever you are and wherever you are!
Regardless of what is happening around us we can choose our thoughts and our attitude.
In my more recent post I have written that what we create for ourselves, for our life, is a choice. Our thoughts related to what we create may be conscious or unconscious – and that is a choice too. Where we put our attention, our awareness, in any given moment – is a choice.
"Mind is the Master power that moulds and makes,
And Man is Mind, and evermore he takes
The tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills,
Brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills: —
He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:
Environment is but his looking-glass."
by James Allen, 1902
As I have posted earlier and as James Allen said so long ago, our mind is the power that molds and makes our reality. Our happiness follows that same principle. Through our thoughts we have the ability to create our own happiness. Regardless of what is happening around us we can choose our thoughts and our attitude. We can choose to be happy.
The question is, are you willing to be happy? Are you willing to choose your thoughts and attitude – to commit to being happy in your life?
When we continue to hold onto the thought "I don't want", we are investing energy in what we don't want. In affect, we are increasing the likelihood that we will create what we don't want (by focusing our energy there versus focusing our energy on what we do want).
We have a choice to either focus on what we do want or what we don't want, knowing that our focus will move us in the direction of our thinking. If you continue to focus on what you don't want you are choosing to want what you say you don't want.
Below is an exercise to help you become more aware of what you are creating that you say you don't want.
1) Start by listing ten (10) things that you think you don't want (i.e., don't want to do, don't want to experience or don't want to happen). For example, I don't want to miss the date for getting my newsletter article written.
2) Now rewrite your don't wants statements replacing "don't want" with "want". For example, I want to miss the date for getting my newsletter article written. In this way you are taking ownership for the existence of these "don't wants" which are creating more of what you don't want in your life.
3) As you rewrite each statement bring your awareness to what you are feeling in your body. Typically when I fully take ownership of these don't wants in this way I feel them in my chest, a heaviness or sense of self criticalness. After I fully own what I am creating and feel the impact of the associated feelings the need to hold onto my "don't want" thinking and feelings subside.
As I go through these steps, taking ownership for keeping these don't wants in my life, I have found I am much less likely to notice myself thinking in terms of what I don't want. And when I do I can stop and take ownership of how I am creating what I don't want. At that point I can shift to focusing on what I do want – creating more of what I want in my life!