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Monthly Archives: October 2011

Shifting to Success

Who does not want more success – in relationships, business, income or in a more “balanced” in life. We set goals, intentions, make commitments and start in the direction of our goals.

And then the city calls to tell you your new commercial property needs a runoff pond which you did not budget for, the money you had planned on for the project is not there or your sister calls to tell you your mother is in the hospital.

Situations like these happen in life. We set an intention and things come up. Life is a creative flow rather than a linear formula.

The big question is how will we respond.

I was reminded this past week by Julie Colwell about the impact of our thoughts on our energy, our openness, our view of ourselves and ultimately our ability to succeed in achieving our goals.

I am the most creative, see the most opportunities and possibilities when I am seeing the best in others and myself. It is one of the fastest ways I know to shift into a frame of mind that brings me success. When I open my mind to what is possible my energy goes up. When I start down the path of critical thinking everything begins to slow down and my vision narrows.

When you find yourself stuck or making slow progress toward your goals, stop and check out your thinking habits and if need be, shift your frame of mind from critical to possibility. 

Time Flies When I’m Having Fun

Have you ever gotten so into something you were doing that you lost track of time? I have, particularly when I was enjoying what I was doing. But what about those things we don't necessarily look forward to doing? It is possible to enjoy and get satisfaction out of those things that we may not be looking forward to doing?

I wrote an article the other day for The Good Men Project. To date I have only written one other article that was published. The thought of writing this article was daunting in many respects. I started working on it several times but I did not get very far. And then I sat down and decided I was going to really write it.

At first it was slow going, but as I gave myself to the task my article really began to unfold. All of a sudden I began to see my theme come to life and it began to flow in a natural progression. I was so into it that I did not even think of time or how much I did not want to do it. When I did realize how much I had gotten done I realized how jazzed I had be feeling once I really got into it.

Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. Viktor E. Frankl

What could we experience if we chose to really get into everything we do? What if we could turn any activity into a satisfying and even energizing experience?

What if your experience was your choice?

Get Started Now

For some people jumping into a new project or task can be very exciting. It is a challenge. Something to figure out. They may give little to no consideration to the height of the diving board – that is part of the exhilaration.

And then there are the individuals on the other end of the spectrum, the individuals that may stop to consider in more depth the project or task at hand. They may or may not see it as a challenge. It may be something they want to do, but that does not necessarily make jumping in any less uncomfortable. Moving into the situation slowly might give them a sense of security.

Neither of these approaches are good or bad, they are just different. I personally have a natural tendency toward the latter, checking things out on a mental and emotional level. Over time, as I have continued to take on new projects which are outside of my comfort zone and for the sake of necessity, I have developed the muscle of moving more quickly into the project or task.

The big learn – the sooner you jump in the sooner you will see what works and does not work. There is calculated risk to consider. It is prudent to consider the markets, history and trends of a stock but getting paralyzed in the process is a waste of time and energy.

Are you someone that moves slowly into that next thing? Try jumping in on the next few projects or task and let your energy flow.

Speaking Truth – A Tribute to Diana Chapman

Over the last few days I have found myself appreciating you Diana, who you are and what you do. It occurred to me how much I have gained from something you have given me time and again since I have known you – your profound insights and your unabashed willingness to speak the truth as you see it.

As I continue to expand my work with others and grow on a personal level myself, I cherish feedback that is uninhibited and uncensored, which is at the core versus at the surface or focused on symptoms. Not everyone is willing to move from cheerleading, making surface comments or asking indirect questions, to a place of delivering honest in the moment reactions. Yes celebration, encouragement and questions can all be great forms of support and I get that from you, but not at the expense of the truth.

I appreciate when I get the whole truth from your perspective, your intentional unedited reactions that are meant to add to my life. The truth that is deeper. The truth that speaks to aspects of myself that I may not judge as socially pretty, that I may not want to see but deep down know that I need to see. The truth that can cut to the quick with clarity and life changing impact. The truth that delivers a level of love that is beyond what may be comprehended by the individual receiving it and may even be viewed as hurtful, aggressive or devastating.

The beauty of your approach is your ability to deliver your truth without judgment, ulterior motive or for self gratification. It is clean and creates an an opportunity for life changing growth. I judge that your ability to speak the deeper truth has been fostered by your willingness to see the truth about yourself, without bias, judgment or self condemnation.

I don’t always like the truth or want to see it or accept it, but in my experience, the deeper truth like you are willing to speak, has had the most impact on my ability to rise to the occasion and do what I want and need to do in my life.

I appreciate you. I see you as a leader among leaders Diana Chapman, and in my judgment, a great coach ( 

Ted Mersino

Relationships and a Rich Life

A mentor of mine once told me that I needed community. I had no clue what he was talking about. I might have even went as far as to say I don't need anyone. I once prided myself on my "I can go it alone", "I'll do it myself", "I don't need any help", etc. Somewhere along the line I developed the story that it was better to go it alone.

Not too long after my mentor suggested I needed community I learned what he meant. In the course of 6 months I started a new career and moved away from a community of friends that I had developed deep bonds. With so much change in my life and so little in the way of supportive relationships, I went from feeling like I could conquer anything to feeling practically helpless. I went from having rich connection and support in my life to feeling like I was swimming in the ocean alone.

There is power in connection, in relationships, in community. They ground us. Our relationships can support us powerfully when we are climbing to that next peak or falling down a slope.

Do you want to make something happen in the world, in your life – connect, develop and cultivate relationships and communities that support you, that enrich your life.

The relationships that made the most profound impact on my life where not always the most comfortable. I sought out individuals that I could respect and trust to see me clearly. I want people in my life that want the best for me and who care enough about me to hold the bar up when I am unable or unwilling to do so myself. Love comes in many forms, tender and strong.